:/ err

Just got back from a date with Aaron. It was kind of a bummer, we just seemed so distant. We couldn't find anything to do and there was NO conversation :( It was nice to have dinner out and we went bowling which was a lot of fun, but even then it just seemed so weird. I was also kind of resentful that I had to pay for everything...same old shit with Aaron, no job...

I'm a little sad about it but actually more angry that he doesn't care enough to follow through on what he says. I am starting to feel used again and kinda glad that he and I aren't "together" right now.

One thing that really bothered me was that I asked to use his cellphone to text this code to see if we could get coupons and he was SO uncomfortable handing it to me that I know he's hiding something on there. That pretty much ruined my night and I think is what ruined his too because I couldn't help it, I kinda called him out on it. I said "it's ok, I'm not going to read your texts you don't need to hide them from me" and he just laughed but it was a nervous laugh like he was wondering how much I knew.

Oh well, I'm gonna try to just move on and not try so hard. If it is meant to be, he will change, if not then, I need to prepare to move on alone. Right now I am doing well for MYSELF without his help and it seems like he is just gonna keep doing the same old shit. I am going to do something good with my life and if he wants to get in gear he is welcome but I'm done supporting him.

Trying to stay strong,