Holding My Breath

People always say "don't hold your breath" or "I'm not holding my breath"...what does that really mean? I take it to mean, I want a certain thing to happen but, chances are, it won't so I'm trying not to care...well that's kind of stupid. I mean, if you don't care, then of course you won't hold your breath waiting for it to happen.

This past few weeks have been really interesting/confusing/emotional but I have been happy through it all. I think we are on our path to maybe working things out with Aaron. He admitted wrong to all the things he's done and I know he is sincere this time. I want things to work, he wants them to work, now, and this is where the breath holding comes in, he has to show it.

Talk is cheap, if he wants me to risk upsetting my family intensely, then he needs to prove it. He knows he needs to prove it, and that I'm not waiting forever, so it's all up to him now.

I do have some reservations, I worry so much about what my family will do or say about it. Will they support me? Will they disown me? Will everything still be ok? The only thing I do know, is that when the 3 of us are together, everything is right with the world for that moment. My son is happy, I am happy and that's what matters right?

I am so glad that I have this blog to throw my random thoughts out, I don't know who or shoot, if anyone reads it, I don't really care, I just need this outlet to get all my thoughts out without being judged by anyone.

I can't handle being judged anymore. I just want to do what makes me happy and what makes Dae happy and I don't need any bullshit. If I get hurt again, it will be all on me and I won't go crying to anyone...but, I don't think I'm going to be hurt again.