Ugh...this may not make any sense...you've been warned.

Ever get to a point in your life where it seems that everyone around you has what you want? Not only do they have what you want, they are unhappy about it, or consider it a burden. Something that you want so bad you can feel it in your soul, it consumes your every thought, and yet for you, is unattainable. Whether at this time or place in life or whatever the case may be, it goes back to childhood where they have what you want. *stomp feet*

It's hard to be happy for people when you are slightly jealous of them. Jealousy is an asshole you know. It makes common, everyday things feel like they are never enough, or not good enough. It's hard to fake it till you make it but that's my motto 24/7 right now.

Only, I'm tired of faking it and you know what? It's not making it. I want things to go right for once, I want the choices I make to finally show that they are the right ones. I don't doubt my choices, and I have faith things will go the way they're meant to be but some kind of sign that I'm doing the right thing would be nice. I don't feel like I'm 25, I feel much older, much more stressed out and much less happy.

I feel like my wings are clipped, like I'm trying to please everyone and it is just backfiring and I'm ending up falling and who is there to catch me? I know one person who will be there and he's my entire world...it just sucks that in order for me to be happy, I will be making others unhappy.

30 Days of Thanks: November 5th, 2011

Today I'm thankful for Nick Jr and Disney Jr. I know, it sounds kinda weird to be thankful for television but these two channels have really been helpful to Dae. Some of the shows amuse me and the things he picks up from the shows is great too. He doesn't watch it often, but when he does, I love to watch him interact with the shows, its just too funny.

30 Days of Thanks: November 4th, 2011

Today I'm thankful for my friends who are always here for me, tell me the honest truth and support me through anything. I hope I am as good a friend as you are to me. I love you all.

30 Days of Thanks: November 3rd, 2011

Today I'm thankful for Dae! I may be a bit biased, but I think he is the coolest 2 year old around and everyday he learns something new. I'm thankful he's happy, healthy and he's the sweetest little monster anyone could ask for.

Love you!

30 Days of Thanks: November 2nd, 2011

Today I am thankful for my mom. She supports me in my life decisons even ones she doesn't completly agree with and most importantly, she watches Dae so that I can go to school and not have to put him in daycare. The bond they have is amazing, I have to admit, I am a bit jealous, but I love that he will have these memories with her. I'm also thankful that I have reached the point in my life where she is a mentor to me and not just my mom.

Thanks Ma.

posted from Bloggeroid

30 Days of Thanks: November 1st, 2011

Today I am thankful that I have the oppurtunity to go back to school and to do it without getting into massive amounts of debt. (For now lol)

Not many people get the chance to go to school at all and for me to be able to go and have it paid for and have a work study job that provides extra cash is wonderful. I am thankful that I have this chance and can't wait to have my degree!

posted from Bloggeroid

30 Days of Thanks

Ok, I've seen lots of friends doing this on facebook, but I have been neglecting my blog so instead of making status updates, I am doing mine here.

The concept is: to state what you are thankful for during the month of November (Thanksgiving duh). So since I have already missed yesterday, I will be doing 2 blog posts today. Plus this one so I guess that's 3 for today. Lol

posted from Bloggeroid