Ever get to a point in your life where it seems that everyone around you has what you want? Not only do they have what you want, they are unhappy about it, or consider it a burden. Something that you want so bad you can feel it in your soul, it consumes your every thought, and yet for you, is unattainable. Whether at this time or place in life or whatever the case may be, it goes back to childhood where they have what you want. *stomp feet*
It's hard to be happy for people when you are slightly jealous of them. Jealousy is an asshole you know. It makes common, everyday things feel like they are never enough, or not good enough. It's hard to fake it till you make it but that's my motto 24/7 right now.
Only, I'm tired of faking it and you know what? It's not making it. I want things to go right for once, I want the choices I make to finally show that they are the right ones. I don't doubt my choices, and I have faith things will go the way they're meant to be but some kind of sign that I'm doing the right thing would be nice. I don't feel like I'm 25, I feel much older, much more stressed out and much less happy.
I feel like my wings are clipped, like I'm trying to please everyone and it is just backfiring and I'm ending up falling and who is there to catch me? I know one person who will be there and he's my entire world...it just sucks that in order for me to be happy, I will be making others unhappy.
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