Saturday, January 14, 2012

Home Sweet Home!!!!

We did it!!! We officially have our own apartment! How does it feel? It feels damn amazing, let me tell you. I need to get some pictures printed up and some cute frames to make it look more "homey" but its all I could ever want.

I have seriously felt like the happiest and luckiest girl this week. We've been moving and Dae has been spending the nights with my mom since his bed isn't ready yet. It's been really nice having the evenings to relax with Aaron, a huge difference from before.

See when we lived apart, we had to go to someone else's house to hang out and be together...which was fun, but nothing is better then sitting on your own couch, watching the shows you wanna watch and not having to have discussions you aren't interested in or something to that extent. It's just me and Aaron and Dae and its glorious!

Friday, January 6, 2012

The Good Kind of Stress

OMG I am such a basket case right now!!! I'm so anxiously waiting for my financial aid to hit the bank (supposed to be in tomorrow) and my account is down to less then $1. I just want to get new tires, buy stuff for the apt and move in already! I have to go back to work Monday and I am NOT looking forward to doing all this, I wanted to do it before I went back. I'm gonna have to get up early, take Dae to my moms, start moving, organizing etc then stop and go to work. I work from 1-5PM which means I'll have to stay up late to get things done. Ugh that is NOT gonna go over well with my body.

Plus side, all my "anxiety" is over good things, not bad stressful things. That's a big plus actually. I'm excited to buy my books, start classes and just have a great 2012.

I've just been stressing over the relationship with my mom. Things have gotten really weird, and I'm not sure why. Maybe just cause of the move or something, Dae has been acting pretty silly too lately.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year!!!!

wow. 2011 was a rough year! It started off terribly, got worse and then came around and got much MUCH better. I'm hoping for only good things in 2012.

Everyone always starts with the resolutions, goals and "must do" things for the new year. Of course I have them too, but I'm hoping a different way of thinking will help me accomplish them instead of failing by February.

1) Have more good times then bad. Sure this doesn't seem like something we can control, but I think we can. I can not stop all bad things from happening, but we can control how we react to them and think postivly so that the "damages" aren't as severe as they may seem. Where there's a will, there's a way and I have the will. After 2011, I know that one for sure.

2) Spend more time as a family. This one is easy, we are finally going to be living on our own, just me, Dae and Aaron and hopefully, we will finally get to see Zain. Spending 2011 as a single parent, I know what my friends have gone through and I want to make sure that Dae has both his parents all the time and that we make good positive memories instead of bad ones.

3) Eat "good for us" food. We have got to lose weight and keep it off. Diets don't help you keep the weight off or teach Dae healthy eating habits. We love to cook, are good at it and with the internet available to us, there is no excuse to buy the junk pre packaged, unhealthy food. We are going to eat more fruit/veggies/good meats and less junk/candy/fast food.

Aaron works tonight, but when he gets off, we are going to spend the start of the year together with our baby boy. There are lots of old wives tales about NYE, but the one that I believe true is that family needs to be together.

Happy New Year!!!! Bring it on 2012!!!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

This Time Last Year

This time last year, we were broke, stressed out and planning to move to McAllen. We were unhappy, angry, bitter, fighting a lot and just all around negative. January 2011 was the first month of the hardest months of my life. Months that I once wished had never happened, but now, I am stronger, more confident and in a better place because of them. I don't believe in regret, everything happens for a reason and every bad spot is a learning experience.

This time last year, I was so angry. I'm not even sure why I was so angry or how I let myself get that way but I was this little ball of constant anger. I was letting others get to me, comparing myself with people who don't matter (not anyone I know personally, no one take offense) and just feeling like shit ALL THE TIME.

This time last year, we were so broke, we had to borrow money just to get the boys something for Christmas. How embarrassing.

This time last year, we were in Dallas, TX with my brother and sister in law. Now that was fun times, I love being with my sister in law, she's such a sweet, genuine soul, I'm truly blessed to have her in my life. That was the first time I made a long drive alone with Dae. We did great, was it a glimpse to the year to come? Where I would be doing more and more things myself that I did not know I was capable of?

This year, we're not rich, but we're not broke. Stress is being managed and not really an issue and while we are still planning to move, we're only going 20minutes away, not 4hours. We are happy, in love, healthy and while we argue at times, it is far from the fights we were having. Everything is positive. Positive thinking, recognizing the bad parts but making a point to find the positive in every situation. We are much stronger as individuals and more importantly, as a couple. We are finally one unit.

This year, I'm happy, that intense anger I was feeling is almost nonexistent. I am now able to handle stressful situations and not get angry, I'm done comparing myself to anyone or doing things because others are doing them. I do what I want, what is best for my marriage and for my son and I don't give a damn what others think about it. Told you, I got me some confidence

This year, we both have jobs. Aaron is working at Logan's Roadhouse (the one off jones maltsburger and 410 GO SEE HIM! *whisper* and leave a big tip lol) and I'm a workstudy on campus. They aren't the best jobs, but they are something and they are what is gonna get us into our own apartment.

This year, we're planning our move, planning our future and living and loving life.

2010-2011 had some rough spots but I learned so much about myself and my strength, I wouldn't change it. This year is going to be different, I know this because WE are different. Relationship wise, we can now talk things out, deal with stress much better and I can FEEL the love, I KNOW he loves me and he KNOWS I love him. Much different then this time last year.

I can't wait to be in our little apartment with my little family.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Season

So this is Christmas...I'm really not looking forward to Christmas this year. It just feels all wrong, Aaron and I are still living apart (hopefully that is fixed in the next couple weeks), we haven't seen or talked to Zain in months and won't see him for Christmas and the weather is just funky. Plus I am sick so all I want to do is lay in bed. We didn't bake cookies this year, which is the first year we've ever skipped...things just don't feel right.

We had Christmas at my dads last night, I had a great time watching the boys play and Dae had a blast with Grandpa Claus. Such good family times, and even then I don't have any Christmas spirit.

Bah Humbug.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Tis the Season

Christmas time is here, and of course, that means that the majority of people are acting like damn fools. I don't understand what causes people to act so differently at this time of the year, aside from the weather, nothing changes!

Christmas is supposed to be about family and having fun. Not shopping, spending money you don't have or trying to get your kids the "best" gift. I often see things like "boo, still have tons of Christmas shopping left..." or "I can't wait to be done shopping for the kids!" and all I think is "wow, really?" If you don't want to shop or can't afford it, then STOP. It's a simple concept, don't go into debt to impress others with what you bought, no one cares. If buying gifts is bothersome, then just don't buy any. I have never tried to buy a ton of things for the kids, this year, I bought Dae 5 gifts and spent less then $70.

People are also so terrible to cashiers or other employees and I wonder what they would do if someone talked to their son or daughter that way. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I have had my moments where I am upset with an employee, but never in the manner I have seen, where they are being berated over something they have absolutely no control over. What good does that do? The person screaming at the employee still gets nothing and the employee has to try and not punch the person. It makes no sense to me, I don't think I will ever understand it.

I can't control other people, but I sure can teach my son that this time of year is meant to be spent together, making memories and traditions. Not for fighting, causing drama or trying to "out do" anyone else. My dream is for my son to grow up and realize that it didn't matter what gifts were under the tree, his family was together, happy and had fun.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

FUN!

We had such a fun weekend, didn't really do anything special, but we got to do things together as a family which was the best part. We had pizza night Friday night and just hung out, played and Aaron and I were able to put Dae to bed together. It was so nice!! I look forward to that being our regular routine!

Later that night, my aunt called us and our giant inflatable snowman that we had just put up had been stolen! Luckily, my cousin happened to be getting home at the same time and she saw the thieves and was able to ID them so after a couple of hours, our snowman was returned to us...of course, now I don't wanna put him back up. I might put him up in the backyard for Dae to play with, he loved his snowman so much!

Saturday night, we got to go to dinner at Logan's Roadhouse, which is where Aaron is now a server. It was a free dinner and oh man, it was yummy! Aaron had the prime rib and I had steak and shrimp, even Dae got to have some steak tips. We also sampled some yummy roadhouse teas, their signature drink. They gave us a check (it was part of the training event) and our dinner was $60!!! That's a lot to us and we laughed about how we had date night for the month.

Things are so nice right now, Aaron and I are doing so great and able to talk things out, it's stressful right now but I know we will get through the rough spots. It's amazing what a difference it makes when you are on the same page and a real team. I am loving my marriage right now and I can't wait for us to live on our own.

The only stress is finding that place of our own...so many apartments are just not in our budget right now, with me going to school, but I really don't want to quit going to school, I just started again. I have some low income places to look into and hopefully we will find the right place for our little family.

OH! I almost forgot! I got my final grades, I got 2 A's and 2 B's!!! WOOT! One semester down, 4 to go LOL