I hate this feeling, I feel like I am the only single person in the world. Of course I know this isn't true, shoot I think my friends are split 50/50 between single/taken but as I sit here, watching TV, playing on facebook, I long to have a conversation with someone about love/life/pursuit of happiness...I hate that I feel like my best friend is gone, unreachable, almost like they've died.
He isn't the man I thought he was, he's not the guy that was my best friend, that I loved to be around, that could make my dreams come true, and yet, sometimes I wish he were still here. I don't feel like I will ever find the perfect guy because I don't think that person exists. I also don't think that person fits into my life...I don't know what I want in a guy, but I want someone who is real and who can take care of me. I am so full of emotion, I can't figure out what I am trying to say...ugh so frustrating.
I just think about things like, what if, some day I find my perfect man, and want to marry again...what would Dae think? Will he be mad? Will he wonder why I didn't stay married to his dad and wonder why I want to marry this other man? What if I have kids with this other guy? Will he be upset if I have another baby? He's already so jealous, but what if he wants to have a sibling?
I know these are such silly things to wonder about, but they are things that jump into my head and I have to get them out somewhere...
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