Changes

My Britt is leaving on Wednesday. I'm so sad because I am going to miss her and Mikey, but I'm also happy for her because hopefully, things will be better for her. It's a scary thing, to have to move, makes me remember how nervous/excited/anxious I was when we were supposed to move to the valley. I often wonder if Aaron never intended for us to move with him, when I think back, he never helped me pack, and then when I find out that stupid whore friend of his mom's told him he should go to the valley alone.

I pretty much blame her for this, well, of course I blame Aaron but if she hadn't opened her big ass mouth and gotten in business where she wasn't wanted, maybe we could have made things work. I can't help but wonder if this is really how my life is supposed to be, if I am going to be alone for a while, if I will ever find love again.

I'm just hitting the point where I'm angry. I'm angry that he did this to us, that I'm having to raise our son alone, that was not the plan, I never wanted to be a single parent, we we're supposed to do everything together. I kept my end of the deal, I supported him, I didn't cheat on him, I loved him with my entire being and what do I get in return? I can't even get him to buy some mother freaking diapers. Hell, I can't even let him be alone with our son! Who did I piss off to deserve this? I know that I have accomplished some things alone, and yes, I was proud of myself for that, but I still feel an incredible sadness that I have no one to share that with. I want that special someone to share things with and as terrible as it sounds, I don't think I will ever have that because I don't think there will ever be someone good enough to be around Dae and me.